Car Ride Conversations with Kids - "The Why" Series

In this car ride conversation series, I have listed some questions for you to dialogue with your kids. I have added a “why” at the end of each question, for it allows you to peek through their window of mind to have a deeper understanding of their world. Living in a fast-pace era, often times our everyday conversations stay on a superficial level surrounding the logistic side of the daily routines. You may be amazed how much deeper we can get to know our kids when we take the time to slow down, adding the “why” with the intention to truly listen.

Day 1: Take turn to share your favorite books, but add a few simple sentences describing why.

Day 2: Ask your kids which playground is their favorite and why? Have them recount a few items they like about the playground and a few memorable trips to that playground. Remember to share yours as well. Make it a two-way dialog.

Day 3: What is your favorite time of the day and why?
When I asked my son this question, turns out that his answer and mine are the two opposite ends. I like the moment when the sky is till dark right before the sunrise for that brings a sense of hope. He likes the sunset moment when the sky turns dark because that gives him the anticipation of getting into the warm blanket at night.

Day 4: What is the best gift you have ever received? Why was it so special?

Day 5: If you could give one gift to every single child in the world, what gift would you give? Why do you pick that? When I asked my family this question, we each have a different choice. The choice actually allows us to understand the priority of each person. Here is each of our top picks. Have fun figuring out yours.

- “Imagination”: if you can imagine it, you maybe able to actualize it
- “Education”: it is useful and can lead to a better future
- “Love”: so kids can learn to be kind to others
- “Bible”: so kids can know the real God

Day 6: If you see a toy you really like from your friend, and when he or she is not aware, you take it without him or her noticing. What do call action as such? Why is it wrong?
** Most kids know stealing is wrong, but may not be able to articulate the why behind it. Try to get them share as much as their maturity allows. Parents also try to think of the reasons on your own too. You will be amazed how often we take this common rule for granted without really think it through the why behind it.**

Day 7: I am posting here an excerpt from Josh McDowell's Family Devotion. It is this entry that propelled me to start thinking about the daily “Car Ride Conversation” series. This devotion entry makes me realize that there are some common rules or expectations in our daily lives that we have taken them for granted without really thinking through the reasoning behind. And we may have only told our kids what to expect without taking the time to discuss with them the essence behind it. (In other words, we may have taught them what to do without teaching them how to think.) If they follow certain behaviors only because it is commonly expected, the behaviors may be grounded on cultural norms rather than the unchanging truths. As McDowell connects the expectations to God's attributes, it reminds me that we need to first teach our kids who God is and their decisions will flow out of the reverence of worshiping God as the King of their heart.

Read the devotion entry with your child. This concludes "The Why" series. We will start a "emotion series" next week. Stay tune!

Car Ride Conversations

A few weeks ago I attended the ReGeneration conference which Josh McDowell and Sean McDowell were the main speakers. There was a section that the father and son dual dialogued on stage sharing how Josh McDowell passed the faith to his children via intentional conversations in the car rides. Josh mentioned about the family devotional book that he wrote, which captured some of their everyday faith conversations. It triggered me to dream about putting together a 「問問孩子系列」(chat with your kids) to help parents connect with kids in the car rides.

Here are my first week’s attempt in putting together the daily car ride conversations. Give them a try.

12/7: 問問孩子

As Christmas is fast approaching, your kids may have expressed their Christmas wish list. Have you thought about asking your kids this question? I asked my kids this question a couple years ago in a car ride to lunch. It made a great impact on me.

Me: if there is one thing you would like mommy to do to be a better mom, what would that be?

Kids: spend more FUN time with us. You have spent a lot of time with us, but not so much fun time.

Indeed, I spent so much effort preparing the daily needs for them that I overlooked this longing within their hearts!

Wonder what would be the answer from your kids? Give them a try with the same question.

12/8: 問問孩子 - Christmas Wish

On your way to church, ask your kids to name a few Christmas wishes that are not material. Wonder what their answers will be?

12/9: 問問孩子 - Thought Ping Pong

When your kids hop into your car, you will probably ask how their days go and if they don’t have much to say, try to invite them to play this “thought ping pong.” Take turn to share one thought that pop up in your mind throughout the day. They share one and you share one. Just like how you would play table tennis with a ping pong ball. Don’t turn the thought into long sharing and don’t comment on their thoughts. This will give you a window to get into their world as an attentive listener.

12/10: 問問孩子 - Thought Catcher

Take turn to share with your kids some negative thoughts that may have surfaced over the day. Pretend you each have an invisible catcher in your hands to capture those thoughts. After each is done sharing, exclaim the word "captured" together imagining the negative thoughts are being held captive in a bottle.

-- 2 Cor. 10:5b "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

This is an great article to read or listen that is related to this topic: https://activechristianity.org/how-do-i-take-every-thought-captive

12/11: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 1)

If your kids have played any toys that has the transforming feature turning from one thing into a different thing, invite them to walk down the memory lane to recall those toys and what they like about the transformation features.

12/12: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 2)

If you can transform into anyone or anything you like, who or what would you be like to become? If you remain as you, but are able to transform (change) a few things, which area(s) would you like to change?

{Don't just ask your kids, share your answers as well}

12/13: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 3)

When a toy is transformed from one thing to another (say from car to robot), it needs you as the outsider to help it transformed. Suppose we can also transform our negative thoughts and bad habits for better, what do you think are the factors that can help us change?

** Note for parents: listen to your child to recount the sources in their lives that impact them. Help them list out as many factors as they can possibly think of. Don't just have them talk, you also share source of influences in your lives as well. Try to conclude the conversation by bringing up the point that WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR EYES AND EARS MATTERS FOR THEY CAN POSSIBLY CHANGE OUR MINDS FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. **

Consider using Romans 12:2 and stress on the word MIND. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. . . "

I am attaching a page excerpt from the book "True Spirituality" by Chip Ingram for your reference. It will help you prepare the chat with your kids.

One-Year Later with Healthy Spiritual Diet

About a year ago, I posted a short writing on the healthy spiritual diet. The chapter of “Could your mental diet be killing your soul?” from the book True Spirituality challenged me so much. Since then, I pushed myself to take a good look at my spiritual diet. It gets me thinking

1. We spend so much time each day on physical meals (cooking or dining out). What if we are determined to spend the compatible amount of time on spiritual diet partaking God’s Words?

2. We all know the importance of home-cooked healthy meals. What if we start preparing home-cook spiritual meals for ourselves and not only rely on the sermons or spiritual books with messages processed by others?

With these two realizations in mind, I bought some small notebooks to create my own version of cliff notes. I hope to eventually do all 66 books in the Bible. This can well be the spiritual legacy that I would like to hand down to my kids one day, each page filled with their mother's genuine thoughts as she walks with the Lord.

I started the journey of reading the letters written by Paul, one book in a month with in-depth reading and reflecting. I only relied on the Study Bible and tools to help me get to know the context more, without getting to any commentary so I can interact with God's Words and have the first-hand taste of the passage in personal ways.

After one year’s hard work and consistency, it made such a positive impact on my spiritual life. With that, it set me on a journey like never before. With the accompany of a faithful accountability partner, we read Howard Hendricks’ Living by the Book together and have applied the reading methods to our Scripture reading. We just wrapped up the book of Ephesians a few days ago using the first three of the ten strategies of reading laid out in the book. It was such an epic experience. Each morning, I exchanged texts with my accountability partner regarding the home-cook spiritual breakfast that we had and it was very interesting to see how God ministered to us personally with the same passage.

I just started my fifth notebook on the book of Acts and I can honestly say this is one of the biggest spiritual blessings I have received since I came to know the Lord. I am so thankful for the experience. Give it a try and you will be amazed by the transformation power it brings!

Be A Seed-Sower

This morning, I attended the 25th Anniversary of the Connect Silicon Valley Breakfast. It was my third time attending and I still vividly remember how shock I was three years ago when I walked into a ballroom expecting 700+ attendees at the early hour before 7am. Over the years, I have been attending their quarterly gatherings and have been blessed by the beautiful and powerful testimonies of brothers and sisters across all walks. As Hebrews 12:1 puts it, "we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses."

This year, I was able to host a table of 10 and have invited some brothers and sisters from church to attend together. The opening session's format was a bit different from what I expected and I remember sitting at the table feeling a bit uncertain and wondered if the message spoke to the friends whom I have invited. And if they would feel worthwhile waking up so early to come.

While these thoughts were going through my mind, the speaker, Patrick Lencioni, invited a volunteer from the audience to be his co-host using the interview format to deliver the session. Patrick asked the lady why she chose to come, and she said her friend would like to use this event to encourage her to speak. Wow, what a perfect moment with her being on stage with the widely sought-after speaker. Somehow that snapshot ministered to me in a very special way. As a planner, I often time feel the pressure to deliver, wanting to witness the outcome just as perfectly as we would have forecast. But I guess all that God asks us to do is to simply "make the invitation" and leave the organic part of growth up to Him. Let's be faithful in sowing the seeds and have the divine confidence that no matter how insignificant our part is, God has His way of connecting the dots. We just have to trust that there is power that lies within the invitation . . . as we include people intentionally into the community with love.

The Power of Community

Yesterday morning I got the chance to have a group meeting with a few coworkers. We used this tool, Story Cards, as the ice-breaker to reflect on our career journey. It was a such great chat. In the midst of the conversation, one of the coworkers made some compliments on my writing. It brought such an encouragement. In fact, it was a timely ignition to a dream that was on the edge of dying. I have not posted anything on my blog for more than a year and have thought about bringing down the site altogether. But as I heard the comment, it got me thinking maybe I need to continue the path, with short writing regularly. So here I am, releasing some sparks to sustain a flame that is dimming, trying to build up the momentum once again . . .

Today, I attended a women’s conference by Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth. She used the root system of the redwood tree as an analogy for the power of community. Redwood trees can grow hundreds of feet in height, so we may think they must have deep roots to support such height. But turns out that “redwood tree roots are very shallow, often only five or six feet deep. But they make up for it in width, sometimes extending up to 100 feet from the trunk. They thrive in thick groves, where the roots can intertwine and even fuse together. This gives them tremendous strength against the forces of nature. This way they can withstand high winds and raging floods.” (http://sunnyfortuna.com/explore/redwoods_and_water.htm)

Indeed, we don’t grow in isolation. We need community to encourage each other to live out our full potential and to shoulder each other in the midst of storms.

Spiritual Diet (Part 3: Bonding)

If we look at the spiritual diet from the perspective of meal preparation, then it's not just the content of the material that matters. The setting, the menu, and the relationship of the ones partaking the meal all play a part in the experience. If the guests around the table know each other well and enjoy each other's presence, the communication will be open, meaningful, and constructive in building up each other. It is so in the spiritual talk's aspects. Wanna share with you in this post about three simple things that our family does over the year that make an impact in cultivating stronger bonds among us.

1. One simple question to show that you care

About a year ago, my son started the habit of asking me the same one question in our morning ride: "Mommy, do you have anything big today?" And he would ask a follow up question when he jumped into my car after school: "So, how did your big thing go today?" At times, he would even tell me that he prayed for my big things over recess or lunch break.

As this routine takes root in him, it touches me a great deal. Actually, showing our loved ones that we care doesn't take much. It is the consistent attentiveness that counts. Knowing that we do have big things to accomplish each day and the ones who are closest to us are keeping our big things in their hearts make a day and night difference!

Who are the ones you care about the most? Why not start the day by asking them "What is the big thing for you today?" When you see them at the end of the day, give them a hug and top it with "So, how did your big thing go today?" I am sure that will bring sunshine in whatever context you are in. Give it a try!

2. Take Turn to Plan Something Fun

About half year or so ago, our family started a practice that helped cultivate a fun aspect in our weekend. At the beginning of each month, we would put down the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4, on pieces of paper, fold them up, and take turns to randomly draw them. Then we take a turn to plan something fun according to the order of our numbers. Each person would pick a restaurant and factor in some activities that fit our weekend routines. At first, this was only an attempt to avoid disagreement between my two kids so they each would have the fair chance to pick where they want to eat out. But over time, this turn into a very pleasant experience that we get to appreciate and respect the other family member's preferences and enjoy the surprise they come up with. The intentional planning helps establish a stronger bonding among us.

3. Dinner Table Devotion

As we stepped into the new year, our family started using this devotional book. As much as our schedule allows, we would finish our dinner together with a devotional sharing from this book. Whoever finishes the meal first would grab this book, read out that day's devotion and each of us would pick a suggested starter question to share. A short and sweet quick 5-10 minutes time. If you are interested, I have included a sample reading below along the introduction pages from the author.

Each family has a different schedule and culture. If we take a step back, we may observe a certain rhythm in which we can sprinkle in some fun components, creating the window of opportunity through which we can strengthen the relationship with a simple message that "we are a family." When the communication channel is open and the habit is firmly cultivated, the seemingly mundane daily routines can be turned into "power moments" to reach out and touch. And through this small community of family, we can strive to build each other up so we can all become more healthy spiritually as we journey together on this path called LIFE!

Spiritual Diet (Part 2: Attentive Listening)

Wanna pick up from where we left off last blog on spiritual diet. As I am determine to provide my family stable and consistent home-cooked spiritual meals, I started with a four-course meals. In order to make it easier for you to remember, I frame it as A-B-C-D, each represents a practice that is crucial for our spiritual walk with the Lord. I will share the tools in this and coming blogs

A = Attentive Listening

B = Bonding

C = Course

D = Dialogue

At the end of last year, my girl asked me, "How do I know God is real? I never heard from Him and I cannot see Him." That is a legitimate question. I know sending our kids to Sunday school and youth program won't be enough to cultivate their personal walk with God. They need to personally experience God to confirm that we have a living God who speaks.

With that, our family starts a Saturday morning routine to help our kids learn to the art of attentive listening of the divine voice. We take turn to come up with our own devotional material. I have included here a few sessions' example for you to get a feel. Family Devotion Sample

As you can see from the sample, it's a very short devotion. I only use one verse, and it is a verse that I have been meditating and memorizing over the days of the week. So, naturally, it has a special meaning to me already. We always end our last question with an actionable task that we can do in the coming week. This way, we can keep each other accountable when we come back for next Saturday's devotion to check.

We take five-minutes quiet time to think of the last actionable question. It creates a window through which God can whisper into our hearts. At first, this practice is quite foreign to my kids and five minutes seem like a long time in their first try. But gradually, they learn to get more focus instead of letting their thoughts wander. If stillness is also your struggle, having a note pad near you to drop down thoughts would help.

I started this attentive listening practice almost a decade ago and it was not easy at the beginning. I shared my journey through a prior post. If you are interested to read, here is the link: My Journey (Part 3): Wait Upon the Lord. Below is an excerpt of that post.

The breakthrough finally came when a sister introduced this book to me: 等候神 (Wait Upon the Lord). A few key concepts taught in this book transformed my prayer life. One particular phrase made a mark in my heart. I can still recite it to this day: "等候=等待，守候 . . . 像僕人等候主人的吩附，是一種専注，隨時候命的等待” (wait upon the Lord is an active type of waiting, like a servant waiting to take orders from the master). We may not receive particular instructions from God every time when we wait upon Him, but we don’t want to miss it when He does have something to say. When those moments strike, I would like to be able to say “I am here, Lord.” I want to be fully present, fully prepare, with my heart open and my notepad ready.

If our kids receive the message directly from God that is tailor fit to the situations they are going through, it can bring transformational power. By then, walking with the Lord is not merely a concept, but a real journey they can experience. When they affirm that "our God is a real God and a real God speaks," they would run to Him in times of needs, and feel safe to let Him lead through the mountains and valleys of their lives knowing that

"In prayers, it's never the size of the mountain that matters, but the strength of the mountain mover."

Spiritual Diet (Part 1)

If I ask you to close your eyes and think of a meal that you have cooked for or ate with your family in this past week, would you be able to name the dishes and picture how each of your family members were seated around the dinning table? You probably would coz it is something you have done regularly. May be what surfaced in your mind was the meal that just took place last night. You may even recall the conversation that took place over the dinner. What if on the similar subject, but instead of the physical food, I ask you to think of a time when you had prepared a spiritual meal and partook with your family together, can you recall the what, when, where, and how of the event? What did you talk about?

I am a children's pastor with two children. All along, I feel that I have been quite intentional in helping my kids grow spiritually. It was not until I read an example from Chip Ingram's book "True Spirituality," that made me realized I might have been running on an ineffective runway, and I need to switch the focus. Here is the excerpt of that part.

I was recently talking with a friend about a documentary he just watched with his children. Someone decided to test the quality of food in one of America's most famous fast-food restaurants. The thirty-day plan was to eat nothing but fast food morning, noon, and evening. Tests were done prior to the experiment and would be done after the experiment to evaluate levels of fat, triglycerides, weight gain, and overall health.

Unfortunately the experiment did not last thirty days. After twenty or so days of a steady diet of only fast food, the man's body began to shut down. The high-sugar, high-fat, fried, and processed food began to build up toxins to such a degree that he had to be hospitalized. Ironically the food tasted great; tragically it almost killed him. --- p.77

I have heard of this experiment before, but on the healthy diet context. When Ingram drew the parallel with the spiritual diet, it caught my attention. It speaks to me in great volume because I happen to be a mom who loves cooking and baking. There were times when I chose to spend hours and hours in the kitchen in order to prepare homey, yummy and healthy food for my family. Even though the hours of preparation would be consumed in just minutes, I feel it is all worth it.

When I was reading that chapter, I asked myself, "If I am willing to spend so much time to take care of my family's physical diet, what am I doing to prepare their home-cooked spiritual diet?" Yes, I have sent my kids to church programs. We pray and do devotions together here and there. But is that enough? If statistics tell us that many youth choose to walk away from the spiritual path when they step into college, what can I do here and now to prepare healthy spiritual diet that can sustain my children for a stable and intimate walk with the Lord?

Ingram continues in the chapter,

Although they have their place and benefits when properly understood, church attendance and church programs are unable in and of themselves to produce lasting life changes. No, supernatural transformation is rooted in our spiritual diet. The battleground for your soul is in your mind . . . The gate to your heart is your mind. The most important decision you make every day is what you allow to go into your mind! . . . life change--genuine spiritual maturity--is not the result of external self-effort, but a supernatural process that flows from the inside out.  -- p.78

With this realization, I started off this year with the determination to prepare home-cooked spiritual meals for my family. And I would share more in the coming weeks on how I prepare those meals and how we partake together as a family. Hope you would find them helpful and be inspired to do the same.

A "6x6" Practice

"Our thoughts are important because our thoughts become words, our words become actions, our actions become habits and our habits create a destiny . . . we become what we repeatedly do." - - - Pastor Craig Groeschel

Does the quote ring any bells? As we go through our daily routines, we may not be very mindful about what we do in a particular day. However, if we accumulate all the small actions, they are indeed defining our destiny and who we are. If you are following my blog, you may recall that I have been writing about new year resolutions and seeking one word from God as the focus of the year. What happen after you have your one word? How should you plan the year to stay focus on the one word you receive from the Lord? If you have those questions in mind, this blog is for you.

A few weeks ago I came across a leadership talk by Pastor Bill Hybels regarding a habit he calls "6x6." One time, Bill was concluding his trip from a leadership training in Europe and was flying back to Chicago. As the plane came closer to Chicago, he started feeling overwhelmed when he thought of how much work was waiting for him in the weeks ahead with Christmas approaching. So he cried out to God asking, "God, in the remaining six calendar weeks, what would be the biggest half doze contributions I can make to the organization." And he started dropping down a list of six things. The exercise brought him tremendous energy, clarity and focus, and the list helped him disregard the second-tier activities. Because this practice was so powerful, Bill ended up setting up another rounds of 6x6 and then another round . . .

Bill's talk came in such a great timing when I was pondering upon what I can do this year relating to the one word I received: LISTEN. I decided to give that a try. Here is how it looks like if you are interested.

• I pulled out my 2018 calendar and looked at the school breaks that my kids would have and planned the rounds of 6x6 factoring in their breaks.
• Then I mapped out how many rounds of 6x6 I can realistically put in one year, with the kids school breaks in between as my pausing and evaluating periods. I mapped out a total of 7 rounds.
• Next I created a google doc and started formulating my 6 items. I split into two sets, with 3 personal and 3 work-related items.
• Finally, I invited a coworker to be my accountability partner, someone who is also inspired by Bill's talk and is motivated to give the 6x6 a try. And we send each other updates at the end of each week.

As you open up your calendar, what do you see? How do you feel? Do you get stressed out because there are always more on the plate than you can fit into your schedule? Is your "important but not urgent" stuff constantly being pushed aside? If so, give this practice a try. Let me end with sharing two pictures with you.

This is the sketches of my 6x6. Hoping to fit 7 rounds this year with pausing moments in between each.

Because my word for the year is LISTEN, one of the items on my 6x6 is a weekly lunch date with my husband, so I can carve out the unhurried moments to give him my full attention. This is our week 2 dating luncheon restaurant. It was on a rainy day and I had to drive half hour to and half hour back in order to make that happen. If we are not intentional, I know it just won't happen, at least not on a rainy day with one hour round trip drive. But when we firmly put it down on our calendar, it will.

If you are interested, here is the clip by Bill Hybels 6x6

Remember, intentional living does not happen spontaneously, it always requires planning, discipline and determination. May your 2018 be blessed as a year full of energy and focus.

Small? Not So!

I came across this series of sermon by Pastor Craig Groeschel last year. It's a four-part series that he preached four years ago. A few minutes into the talk, he mentioned this line and it instantly captured my attention that made me continue on for the rest of the series. He said,

it's often the small things that no one sees that result in the big things that everyone wants.

It's so true, isn't it? Living in a culture that emphasizes so much on the measurable results, we often define success by looking at the size of crowds one can attract and the scope of influence achieved. Pastor Craig used three familiar biblical examples to bring across the point.

• David was able to defeat Goliath because of his faithful years attending sheep and fighting off wild animals.
• "Ruth was faithful to Naomi when she didn't have to be, when it would have been easier not to be." And her faithfulness brought her to Boaz eventually.
• Daniel was able to stand up for his faith because he had been keeping up his daily practice of praying three times a day.

it's often the small things that no one sees that result in the big things that everyone wants.

In last post, I mentioned about new year resolution. This is a practice that many have attempted at the turn of each year, but only to find ourselves defeated at the end of the year. You may find each January the gym is full of people, but as the year unfolds, some may choose to move from the trackmill to the chip aisle in supermarkets. When left unguarded, it's human nature to have the tendency to drift . . . Indeed, staying in the course doesn't come effortlessly. It require us to be intentional, discipline and with tenacity.

At the end of Pastor Craig's first talk, he brought up an idea that would bring tremendous power in staying on track and remaining focus. He suggested not to set big new year resolution goals, instead, seek ONE WORD from God, just ONE WORD. And that ONE WORD will become your focus of the year. And you build all you do surrounding that ONE WORD.

Since I watched this clip last year, I started pondering that thought on and off, though it is not until we stepped into the new year that I have firmed up that ONE WORD. My word for the year is "LISTEN." I want to strive to be a better listener at home, at work and learn to be more sensitive to divine whispers.

I wanna close with a personal experience about the power of focusing on that ONE WORD. One day I asked my boy to name one thing that he would like mommy to change to become a better mom. And what he said strike a chord of my heart and I took it very seriously to act upon. He said, "You have spent a lot of time with us, but it's more the time taking care of us. It would be nice if you can spend more FUN TIME with us." I grew up without much fun moments with my parents and spending fun time with my kids doesn't come naturally. And so, I asked one of my coworkers who is more fun to be my accountability partner and she started giving me small exercises to arrange fun time with my kids. Before long, the small actions created momentum of its own and I start sensing an inner drive to keep that going without the reminders of my accountability partner. Just this last week, I went laser tagging with my kids the first time; we played freesbie in the park . . . I used to merely bring them to the fun places, but now I play them in those places. And it dawns on me that fun time in their mind is small things, it's the moment when we truly turn our eyes upon them, have our hands free from the media distractions, our mind cleared from work and truly LISTEN and BE WITH THEM.

it's often the small things that no one sees that result in the big things that everyone wants.

If you truly focus on that ONE WORD and persistently sustain it through this year, you would be amazed how much a FOCUS PATH can bring you. Let us live through this year intentionally. If you are interested to the talk, here is the link to talk #1 on "Small Things, Big Difference." Enjoy! Small Things, Big Difference 1

The Marbles

Happy New Year! As we turned the page into 2018, do you have big plans, new year resolutions? May be you have dropped down a thought or two in your mental blog, with the hope to achieve the baby steps of dreams that have been fostered in your heart all along? Wanna wish you all a very fruitful and fulfilling year coming ahead.

This morning as I opened my blog, I noticed that my last entry was more than half year ago on June 16 2017. Yes, I stopped posting all these months. Somehow, I felt very loss this past half year as if I stepped into a mid-life crisis. Have you experienced that? Nothing major happened, but seemed like the motivation just slipped away quietly. The passion, energy and creativity that once flowed so naturally simply stopped.  And there was a sense of blue that lingered over the days.

As the calendar rolled around to Jan 1, I dragged myself into picking up the reading routine again. All along, I know reading and writing are the means of my nourishment. Funny that when I got loss, those were also the things I abandoned first. The first book I pushed myself to read was "Frequency-Tune In, Hear God" by Robert Morris. Being in the stage of loss, I long to hear the whisper from God. And so in my journal, I wrote down "LISTEN" as the focus of 2018, along with this verse, Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you search for Me with all your heart."

Not sure what this new year is holding up for me, but I pray that it would be a year that I strive to be a better listener, at home, at work and able to hear God's voice more often, clearer. Allow me to share two pages of excerpt from the book. I love the fishing analogy that Morris used in these two pages.

As Morris puts it,

Hearing God's voice is like that. every day we need to spend time in God's presence so we hear God's general voice. When we learn how to discern the general will of God on a regular basis, we are ready to hear God's specific word. God comes to a prepared atmosphere. As we make and keep appointments to meet with God, we'll learn to hear His voice.

As I gradually pick myself up into a healthy reading rhythm, I was reminded once again the power of small things. The habit of setting aside the consistent time of pausing and reflecting can bring a huge difference in our fast paced life. If each of the marbles (see the top picture of this blog) represents a day of the week, may we all take heart in how to use this marble wisely, as we are losing one each day and our jar of marbles are depleting moment by moment. We don't have all the time in the world, and so, let us use each marble intentionally, starting from the smallest thing . . .

Here is the book if you are interested to check it out. Frequency - Tune In, Hear God

The Value of Play (Part 2)

Every year around fall, when the crisp weather arrives, it always brings me back the memory of my kids' preschool days. It was the season when autumn came with hay rides, pumpkin patches and turkey crafts. To this day, as I close my eyes, I can still recall the very first craft my son made in the parent & me class. He used his tiny hand to print out a shape of turkey and decorated with orange paints. Those days are so precious. 

I spent four years accompanying my kids through the parent and me classes in their preschool years. It had been my passion to watch them play and observe what they liked, then researched various resources to soak their interest. If you have kids in the preschool age, I highly recommend checking out the "Parent Participating Nursery School." Unlike the traditional drop-off preschool, the parent participating nursery schools are run by involved parents and you get to accompany your child in class to learn along.  If you are interested to find one close to your, here is the link of the California Council's web site. http://www.ccppns.org/

In those days of watching my kids play, I noticed that my son was fascinated by alphabets. He would literally held up two alphabets and pretended they were dialoging. It's no surprise that he grew up as an early reader and language has been his strong suite.  My girl, on the other hand, could hardly sit through the story time in those days. She loved cutting instead. She held scissors well in an early age and was skillful in using it. She also loved buckling and unbuckling her car seat, booster chair and stroller. Anything with buckles attracted her and she would get up and down multiple times to practice. And now, she has been my great helper setting up the children's ministry on Sunday mornings with her skillful hands.

Time flies and they are in their preteen years now. It is harder to find things that we can naturally play together. Unstructured playtime is especially challenging to establish in today's society that is saturated with screen play and organized events and classes. I do long for those moments. And in the midst of finding the right activities, I came across this site and echoed the editor's words. Take a look at the site, there are some good resources available: http://childhood101.com/2014/07/23-activities-for-tweens/

I constantly have this overwhelming sense that I need to seize this moment now, and make an effort to do things with my tweens, to find common interests and to strengthen our bond before they grow into teenagers and young adults and spend even less time at home, and find their mother even less cool!

Let's seize the moment, laugh, love, embrace and live the moment to the full.

The Power of Volunteers

A few days ago, I attended a fundraising event of a non-profit organization. It was amazing to see how far an organization can go in two decades' time with a group of dedicated volunteers. In recent years, that organization has stepped into the realm of media with radio and TV shows; and yet, most of the volunteers involved don't have the media background. It pushed me to think how leaders should organize resources intentionally to pursue audacious goals. And this is possible even for organizations that are mainly run by volunteers. 

In our already busy and fully packed lives, what motivates the volunteers to willingly contribute hours after hours of their precious time, without monetary reward? This morning, I browsed Daniel Pink's book, "Drive," wanting to recap his key points on motivation. Here are some quotes from the books with the insights. 

Rewards can deliver a short-term boost--just as jolt of caffeine can keep you cranking for a few more hours. But the effect wears off--and, worse, can reduce a person's longer-term motivation to continue the project." Human beings, Deci said, have an "inherent tendency to seek out novelty and challenges, to extend and exercise their capacities, to explore, and to learn." 

Drive touches on three key factors to motivate people: Autonomy, Mastery & Purpose. If we provide and guide our volunteers using these principles, it may go a long way, even in the context when monetary is not one of the incentives.

1. Autonomy: And the people on your team must have autonomy, they must have ample opportunity to pursue mastery, and their daily duties must related to a larger purpose. If the elements are in place, the best strategy is to provide a sense of urgency and significance--and then get out of the talent's way . . . Autonomy is different from independence. It's not the rugged, go-it-alone, rely-on-nobody individualism of the American cowboy. It means acting with choice--which means we can be both autonomous and happily interdependent with others . .  Control leads to compliance; autonomy leads to engagement . . . The science shows that the secret to high performance isn't our biological drive or our reward-and-punishment drive, but our third drive -- our deep-seated desire to direct our own lives, to extend and expand our abilities, and to make a contribution. 

2. Mastery: It is the desire to get better and better at something that matters . . . Most important, in flow, the relationship between what a person had to do and what he could do was perfect. The challenge wasn't too easy. Nor was it too difficult. It was a notch or two beyond his current abilities, which stretched the body and mind in a way that made the effort itself the most delicious reward. That balance produced a degree of focus and satisfaction that easily surpassed other, more quotidian, experience . . . One source of frustration in the workplace is the frequent mismatch between what people must do and what people can do. When what they must do exceeds their capabilities, the result is anxiety. When what they must do falls short of their capabilities, the result is boredom.

3. Purpose: The first two legs of the Type I tripod, autonomy and mastery, are essential. But for proper balance we need a third leg-purpose, which provides a context for its two mates. Autonomous people working toward mastery perform at very high levels. But those who do so in the service of some greater objective can achieve even more. The most deeply motivated people--not to mention those who are most productive and satisfied--hitch their desires to a cause larger than themselves.

When we find a platform in which we can contribute using our innate gifts, and being honored by a leader who provides a stage for us to fine tune our skills and freedom to explore, we enter into a beautiful pasture.

 

 

 

 

The Value of Play (Part 1)

As summer starts, many families may naturally plan for day camps and summer vacations. This year, I am making a conscious decision of putting "play time with my kids' the higher priority among other summer routines. Instead of expensive trips, may be what our kids long for are the simple, inexpensive, yet priceless moments of "togetherness."

Like many other parents, I have placed limit on my kids' screen time. I thought that is one channel to safeguard their well being in this digital era. It is not until I came across the book by Devorah Heitner that I realize there is a higher ground. The book is titled "Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World." In the book, Heitner describes three main approaches to technology. 

1. "Limiters" predominately use a restrictive approach to screen time without meaningful interaction about the nature and quality of kids' tech engagements. Their approach is "less is more."

2. "Mentors" engage with their kids about technology. These engagement activities include "play a video game with my child," "talk with my child about how to use technology," the Internet, or a specific website responsibly," and "show my child a book, article, video game, or program to help them learn about technology."

3. The third group of parents are "enablers," taking a more laissez-faired approach. They do not limit, nor mentor--and the kids are left to their own devices.

Which type would you categorize yourself? I fall more under "limiters." But Heitner's book challenges me to move from "limiter" to "mentor." And so, we have started dedicating the time after dinner over the summer to play games.  Per Heitner's suggestion, we are hoping to alternate the unplugged and "plugged in" games. I wanna get into my kids' world to understand their perspectives and values through playing with them. The fun game moments offer a good window for just that.

Here are some advice from Heitner:

Games are a powerful way for families to come together. Traditional board games are a time-honored tradition, but interactive digital games have the potential to be just as powerful as their analog counterparts. To keep kids engaged and excited, consider designating a family game night once a week, alternating unplugged and "plugged in" games each time. Let your child introduce you to her favorite game and see what you like. . . Ask your kids to show you how to play the games they like, and play with them sometimes. There's a hidden benefit for parents in such collaborative gaming: participating with your kids in their games--and watching them interact with others--gives you a great window into their world. You get to experience it yourself. Of course, this requires that you take the time to learn enough about your kids' interests that you can engage in the games they are passionate about.

This week, we started with the traditional board game. We found this set a few days ago and have been having fun. I am hoping to write a few more posts on this topic and to share with you some potential good resources. Stay tune!

Why Do You Work?

If you are asked with this question, "Why do you work?" What would be your answer? You probably have read through different books on the topic of finding meaning and purpose in your work life. Have you formulated yours?

Last month, I have come across a couple of scenarios that triggered me to reflect on this topic.

One hot afternoon, I was reading Cheryl Bachelder's "Dare to Serve" while waiting to pick up my kids. The example she described in the book captured my attention. In one of the chapters she talks about the clarify of purpose, she describes an experience shared by a hair dresser. His perspective is amazing. Here are the quotes from the book:

In my twenties I was a partier. I didn't go to college. I didn't have a career plan. I was enjoying life--playing sports and hanging out with buddies.

My parents kept asking me about my plan, but I wasn't too concerned. Then I met this girl I really liked, and she wanted to know my plan. I decided I better get one.

A friend suggested I go to beauty school and make a living cutting hair. At beauty school, I found I had talent. With training, my skills improved. I discovered that what I loved about the job was this . . .

A woman would sit in my chair--usually stressed, feeling bad about how she looked. She needed encouragement. To face another day, she needed to be renewed.

I started making her renewal my purpose. I saw how she relaxed after a neck massage. I saw how she appreciated me shampooing her hair. I saw how she started to open up and tell me about her life. I found opportunities to tell her she was interesting to talk to. I worked hard to get her hair styled just right--whether she was going out on an important date or not. When she left my chair, I wanted her to feel differently about herself.

Everyday I get the opportunity to lift up women--encouraging them, making them feel beautiful. They leave my chair with confidence--a spring in their step. That is so much fun to watch.

When people approach their jobs with this sense of purpose, they can truly reach out and touch lives no matter what type of positions they are holding.

A few days later after reading Bachelder's book, I went to watch a concert in my kids' school. There was a kindergartner girl in the choir. She stood in the front row, sang with passion and put on a big smile the whole time. Her level of energy was compelling. My kids were not in that particular choir, so, I started off with a low interest in the songs. But passion is contagious. I got energized by her dedication and my spirit was uplifted.

The month prior to that, I was working with a local parenting magazine to put in an advertisement for a musical performance at our church. That was my very first time working with that magazine for ad. I knew nothing about the pricing, the size and the specification. The magazine personnel answered my every question so patiently, and she diligently followed up on every target date and proactively sent me the post-event advertisement reached statistics. It was such a pleasant encounter. With the level of personal attention I received, I felt like I was being served as the only customer.

As I stitch all these together, they give me precious reminder that it doesn't really matter what jobs or titles we hold; when we do our job with a sense of purpose, we can truly reach out and touch lives. As Cheryl Bachelder puts it, "Before you can help others find their purpose at work, you must find your own." Bachelder says, "Your personal purpose is one or two sentences that capture the essence of who you are and how you will serve others."

After experiencing these powerful examples, they urge me to think about working on my own personal purpose statement . . .

Be a Moment Maker

It's Friday evening now and it had been a busy day at work with meetings back-to-back most of the day; along with taking care of my two kids. As I pulled out my car from the parking lot heading to the make-up guitar class with my kids, it was 5:30pm. Last time I checked my calendar, the class was sitting in the 6:30pm slot. Just to be sure, I retrieved the email with the instructor to double check the class time. Man, as I glanced the email, I realized the make-up class was supposed to be at 5pm, not 6:30pm.

With the extreme annoyance about my oversight and felt bad about the tuition that I wasted, we went out for a quick meal. As I vented my frustration over the dinner, my boy leaned over to give me a hug and said, "It's okay, everyone makes that kind of mistakes once a while." He then pulled out his iPad and showed us the comics to cheer me up. It worked. I started to wind down and we shared laughter. We ended up had a nice meal with chats and joyful conversation. This is the snapshot of our meal time fun.

After dinner, we went for a quick stop at Target. As we browsed through the toy aisle, the instructor called. Turned out that he forgot about the lesson as well and was out for a short trip today. Since it's a make-up class that didn't fall on the regular routine, we both overlooked. What an coincident!

As I concluded the day, I thought of the book, "The Moment Maker" by Carlos Whitaker.

Live with purpose and on purpose. When you pay attention, you will discover that the opportunity for moments is surrounding you right now. This moment.

As we start the summer vacation with our kids, there will sure be moments that we simply miss the mark. In those times, may we choose to pause, steer it away from disappointment and choose to see beyond the imperfection. May we become the moment maker, stitching minutes into precious memories for our loved ones. 

Awakening the Possibilities

In the past five days, I have shared a few thoughts on "Finding God in Corporate America." Each day I reflected on some leadership lessons. As I look back, I see a common thread in each of the leaders. They are all dedicated to grow the people entrusted under their leadership one way or the other. Indeed, leadership is not about directing people, but rather, awakening the possibilities.

I was introduced to a short excerpt of Benjamin Zander’s TED talk on “The Transformative Power of Classical Music” in the Catalyst conference last year. The speaker only showed about 1.5 minutes of Zander’s talk, but I was captivated. The sister who sat next to me and I immediately turned on our smart phone and started searching the talk. We managed to find a few clips, but were not sure if those were the right ones. Nevertheless, Zander’s statement on leadership lingers in my mind as I left the conference.

I searched up the TED talk right after the conference and found both the video and the script. I have dropped down the few points that particularly touch me. May these thoughts resonate with you as well.

1.  It's one of the characteristics of a leader that he not doubt for one moment the capacity of the people he's leading to realize whatever he's dreaming. Imagine if Martin Luther King had said, "I have a dream. Of course, I'm not sure they'll be up to it."

2. How would you walk? How would you talk? How would you be? If you thought, "Three percent of the population likes classical music, if only we could move it to four percent." How would you walk or talk? How would you be? If you thought, "Everybody loves classical music — they just haven't found out about it yet." See, these are totally different worlds.

3. But the conductor doesn't make a sound. He depends, for his power, on his ability to make other people powerful. And that changed everything for me. It was totally life-changing. People in my orchestra said, "Ben, what happened?" That's what happened. I realized my job was to awaken possibility in other people. And of course, I wanted to know whether I was doing that. How do you find out? You look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it . . .So if the eyes are shining, you know you're doing it. If the eyes are not shining, you get to ask a question. And this is the question: who am I being that my players' eyes are not shining? We can do that with our children, too. Who am I being, that my children's eyes are not shining? That's a totally different world.

4. I have one last thought, which is that it really makes a difference what we say — the words that come out of our mouth. I learned this from a woman who survived Auschwitz, one of the rare survivors. She went to Auschwitz when she was 15 years old. And ... And her brother was eight, and the parents were lost. And she told me this, she said, "We were in the train going to Auschwitz, and I looked down and saw my brother's shoes were missing. I said, 'Why are you so stupid, can't you keep your things together for goodness' sake?'" The way an elder sister might speak to a younger brother. Unfortunately, it was the last thing she ever said to him, because she never saw him again. He did not survive. And so when she came out of Auschwitz, she made a vow. She told me this. She said, "I walked out of Auschwitz into life and I made a vow. And the vow was, "I will never say anything that couldn't stand as the last thing I ever say." Now, can we do that? No. And we'll make ourselves wrong and others wrong. But it is a possibility to live into.

Lord, grant me the wisdom so I know when to let go and step aside so others can raise up and shine. Prevent me from becoming the lid of the pot or the bottleneck that may jeopardize growth or suffocate potential.

Below are the links of the TED talk (both the video & scripts). It’s a powerful talk on both classical music and leadership. Check it out. If you are interested to read my series of blog entries on "Finding God in Corporate America," check out my main blog page http://www.arootedlife.net/main-blog/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LCwI5iErE

https://www.ted.com/talks/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion/transcript?language=en

Finding God in Corporate America - Part 5: David Green (Founder & CEO of Hobby Lobby)

I went to Hobby Lobby last Sat to buy some craft supplies and was surprised to see this sign when I walked into the store.  I have seen stores closed on Sunday before, but this is probably the first time I saw the reasons stated loud and clear: to allow employees time for family & worship. Wow!

I thought Hobby Lobby is a small mom and pop store, turns out that it is a good-sized company. The company was established in 1970 making picture frames in a tiny garage, and has grown to one "with more than seven hundred stores and nearly thirty thousand employees." The company has caught some public attention in its recent lawsuit regarding Obamacare. The following is a recent article from Forbes on this topic.  https://www.forbes.com/sites/jerrybowyer/2017/04/25/what-makes-hobby-lobby-a-christian-company-hint-its-not-a-greed-or-a-misogyny-thing/#3ad40cbb36d9.

The article mentioned David Green's second book, "Giving It All Away and Getting it All Back Again." I got curious in the story and picked up the book to start reading today. The book gave me tones of food for thoughts on the topic of legacy and succession (more on these in my future blogs). I was very touched as I read the following lines describing Green's struggles in the recent lawsuit. It is like reading the modern day the story of Daniel.

By way of background, Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby was our Supreme Court case about the federal government's mandate that private companies must provide for potentially life-terminating drugs against our religious convictions or pay severe fines. In our case, those fines would have amounted to $1.3 million per day. We knew we could lose the company. What do you do when you fear that you might lose your company?

In that case, we called a family meeting. In those days, we had only my wife, our three children, and their spouses. We called a family meeting again. But this time, the meeting involved a lot more people—my wife, our children and their spouses, and our grandchildren and their spouses. There were a lot more people involved, and a lot more people depending on us, including thirty two thousand employees.  

It was a big weight. I felt that everyone in the family deserved a say in our course of direction because it affected all of us and the employees we served. The pressure from the outside world was real. Some folks created Facebook pages opposing us. We struggled sometimes with those who didn’t tell the entire story—the care we had for our employees, the drugs we were willing to provide under our health plan, and our long history of providing great wages. We got stacks and stacks of mail—some against us quite bitterly and some for us. It was those who told us that they were praying for us who were such a great comfort. But the outcome of the case was very much in doubt, and in the months and months of waiting, we put up a billboard outside our office for all to see with a passage from the book of Daniel: “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us."

Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us. Walking in faith is a risky business. And what if that requires putting all we have and all we have built for the whole life in risk? Are we willing to take that step to defend what we believe? 

Finding God in Corporate America - Part 4: Truett Cathy (Founder of Chick-fil-A)

Early last year, my friend lent me the book, Eat More Chicken, written by Chick-fil-A's founder, Truett Cathy (1921-2014). The book describes Cathy's upbringing and his journey to becoming the founder of the restaurant. Growing up in a difficult time, Cathy learned the principles of hard work, honesty, loyalty, and respect. By applying these principles to work, he grew the restaurant from a single store to more than 2000 nowadays. Being a devout Christian, Cathy's religious beliefs had impacted the way he led the business, which is obviously shown through the company's mission statement, "To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A."

Since the book was lent by my friend, I ended up typing down the lines that jumped out to me. Today, as I reviewed them, I found these great ones in just the first few pages of the book.

• When leaders put the welfare of others first, there is no limit to what they can accomplish. (p. vii)

• The lesson that is continually reinforced in me is that to take advantage of unexpected opportunities, we must leave ourselves available. If we had set lofty long-range goals for our company's growth, our capital might have been so tied up in construction that we would have been unable to respond to these opportunities. (p.4)

• To receive a blessing, we often have to take actions first. (p.10)

• Nearly every moment of every day we have the opportunity to give something to someone else -- our time, our love, or our resources. I have always found more joy in giving when I did not expect anything in return. (p.11)

• Unexpected opportunities almost always carry with them the chance to be a faithful steward and to influence others positively . . . We change the world, and ourselves, by our responses to unexpected opportunities. How will you respond today? (p.11)

As I read through those quotes, I can sense the compassion of Cathy. Caring for employees may be easier when the company is small, but the level of personal attention is much harder to achieve as a company grows. I was so amazed when I read about this practice that Cathy described in the book (published in 2002): "From the beginning, and until only recently, I interviewed every new candidate. I knew all of the operators by name, and most of their spouses and children."

Not long after I read the book, I came across a podcast in which Andy Stanley had an interview with Glen Jackson, the co-founder of Jackson Spalding. The talk was on the topic of "The Seven Pillars of Preeminence." One of the seven pillars described by Jackson was the culture torch of servant leadership. Jackson recalled that he first saw this pillar in action through a scene he observed of Cathy in an airport in 1995. At the time, Jackson was a young 31 years old entrepreneur, while Cathy was already a well-known businessman. After a pleasant brief encounter, Cathy handed Jackson a Chick-fil-A BOG (be our guest) card. It meant so much to Jackson that he carried the card in his wallet every day from 1995 until his company worked for Chick-fil-A seven years later. The BOG card is so memorable to Jackson because of the personal encounter with Cathy and what he observed thereafter.

Here is the scene. After the brief chat with Jackson, Cathy went over to the baggage claim, and there was a young lady from their plane about four months pregnant. Jackson looked over and saw Cathy got her luggage from the conveyor belt, had it all set up, loaded on the push cart for her. The snapshot that Jackson observed of Cathy taught him that no task is too small for a servant leader. The same day, Cathy went on to the Washington Press Club for a talk; and met with the president of the United States the next year. No task is too big for a servant leader. Just as Cheryl Bachelder puts it, servant leaders are "courageous enough to take the people to a daring destination, yet humble enough to selflessly serve others on the journey."

In between these reading and listening about the Chick-fil-A's values, I saw an article about how a Chick-fil-A employee greeted a customer with special needs with respect and care. It brought back Jackson's comment, "No task is too small for servant leader."

http://faithit.com/new-chickfila-cashier-shocks-the-crowd-when-she-does-this-in-response-to-a-deaf-customer-inspirational/

Whether you’re a cashier at a fast-food restaurant or vice president of a multi-million dollar corporation, we are all equally blessed with the opportunity to bless those around us. It doesn’t always have to be as big as a hefty donation or starting your own church. Sometimes we start by inviting people into the love of Christ through a simple hand gesture that says, “Hey, you’re cared for—and you’re welcome here.”

Indeed, values are caught, not taught. Principles shape the culture, which in turn drives the results. I was very touched by these behind-the-scene snapshots. It says a lot about a person's character, especially when the kind acts are done when nobody is watching.

If you are interested to the podcast, here is the link:

• Andy Stanley Podcast: The Seven Pillars of Preeminence with Glen Jackson (Sep 2016): Time mark about Truett Cathy 12:50-15:30 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/andy-stanley-leadership-podcast/id290055666?mt=2

Finding God in Corporate America - Part 3: Cheryl Bachelder (CEO of Popeyes)

Matthew 20:26-28 says, "But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave." These are the verses that are often quoted on the topic of servant leadership. One way or the other, I think we all long to meet the servant leader, one who truly cares for our personal growth. But in some ways, there may also be part of us doubting if servant leadership is a myth. Can this type of leaders be found in corporate America? Can this type of leaders deliver superior performance results?

I first heard of Cheryl Bachelder's book, Dare to Serve, in Andy Stanley's leadership podcast. In that talk, Cherly's idea of how to "unfund" projects caught by attention and I was impressed with how she turned around Popeyes. With a sense of curiosity, I saved the book in my amazon wish list until few days ago when I started writing the series of blog on "Finding God in Corporate America" and I want to explore the theme of servant leadership more.

As I start reading Dare to Serve, I got captivated right away by the opening.

AT THE BEGINNING OF A BROADWAY SHOW, the lights dim, the music plays and the audience waits for the spotlight to hit the stage. When the main actor appears, the story begins. So it is with leadership. When you become a leader, people wait for you to step into the spotlight on center stage. All eyes are fixed on you--waiting to see who you are, what you will say, and what you will do. After all, you are the leader.

What if spotlight appeared on stage, and you were not in it? What would happen then? The people would be confused, They would wonder where you were. They would think that you didn't understand your role. Until they realize what you were doing. You are a different kind of leader. Not seeking the spotlight. In fact, you have walked off the stage to find the light crew. You will shift the focus of the spotlight--to the people you have been asked to lead. You will lead the people to daring destinations--far beyond their imagination. You will focus intensely on serving them well on the journey. You will help them discover meaning in their work and principles in their actions. You will dare to serve.

This is the exact type of top performing leader described by Jim Collins as the Level V leader. Servant leader is ambitious, but ambitious first and foremost about the vision of the company, not themselves. I look forward to reading the book and how Cherly uses this concept to turn around Popeyes.

When God puts us in any leading role, may we seize the opportunity and dare to be a different kind of leader: one who is "courageous enough to take the people to a daring destination, yet humble enough to selflessly serve others on the journey." One day, when you realize that you are the most powerful person in the room, what would you do? Would you give your power away so others can shine?