Car Ride Conversations with Kids - "The Why" Series

In this car ride conversation series, I have listed some questions for you to dialogue with your kids. I have added a “why” at the end of each question, for it allows you to peek through their window of mind to have a deeper understanding of their world. Living in a fast-pace era, often times our everyday conversations stay on a superficial level surrounding the logistic side of the daily routines. You may be amazed how much deeper we can get to know our kids when we take the time to slow down, adding the “why” with the intention to truly listen.

Day 1: Take turn to share your favorite books, but add a few simple sentences describing why.

Day 2: Ask your kids which playground is their favorite and why? Have them recount a few items they like about the playground and a few memorable trips to that playground. Remember to share yours as well. Make it a two-way dialog.

Day 3: What is your favorite time of the day and why?
When I asked my son this question, turns out that his answer and mine are the two opposite ends. I like the moment when the sky is till dark right before the sunrise for that brings a sense of hope. He likes the sunset moment when the sky turns dark because that gives him the anticipation of getting into the warm blanket at night.

Day 4: What is the best gift you have ever received? Why was it so special?

Day 5: If you could give one gift to every single child in the world, what gift would you give? Why do you pick that? When I asked my family this question, we each have a different choice. The choice actually allows us to understand the priority of each person. Here is each of our top picks. Have fun figuring out yours.

- “Imagination”: if you can imagine it, you maybe able to actualize it
- “Education”: it is useful and can lead to a better future
- “Love”: so kids can learn to be kind to others
- “Bible”: so kids can know the real God

Day 6: If you see a toy you really like from your friend, and when he or she is not aware, you take it without him or her noticing. What do call action as such? Why is it wrong?
** Most kids know stealing is wrong, but may not be able to articulate the why behind it. Try to get them share as much as their maturity allows. Parents also try to think of the reasons on your own too. You will be amazed how often we take this common rule for granted without really think it through the why behind it.**

Day 7: I am posting here an excerpt from Josh McDowell's Family Devotion. It is this entry that propelled me to start thinking about the daily “Car Ride Conversation” series. This devotion entry makes me realize that there are some common rules or expectations in our daily lives that we have taken them for granted without really thinking through the reasoning behind. And we may have only told our kids what to expect without taking the time to discuss with them the essence behind it. (In other words, we may have taught them what to do without teaching them how to think.) If they follow certain behaviors only because it is commonly expected, the behaviors may be grounded on cultural norms rather than the unchanging truths. As McDowell connects the expectations to God's attributes, it reminds me that we need to first teach our kids who God is and their decisions will flow out of the reverence of worshiping God as the King of their heart.

Read the devotion entry with your child. This concludes "The Why" series. We will start a "emotion series" next week. Stay tune!

Car Ride Conversations

A few weeks ago I attended the ReGeneration conference which Josh McDowell and Sean McDowell were the main speakers. There was a section that the father and son dual dialogued on stage sharing how Josh McDowell passed the faith to his children via intentional conversations in the car rides. Josh mentioned about the family devotional book that he wrote, which captured some of their everyday faith conversations. It triggered me to dream about putting together a 「問問孩子系列」(chat with your kids) to help parents connect with kids in the car rides.

Here are my first week’s attempt in putting together the daily car ride conversations. Give them a try.

12/7: 問問孩子

As Christmas is fast approaching, your kids may have expressed their Christmas wish list. Have you thought about asking your kids this question? I asked my kids this question a couple years ago in a car ride to lunch. It made a great impact on me.

Me: if there is one thing you would like mommy to do to be a better mom, what would that be?

Kids: spend more FUN time with us. You have spent a lot of time with us, but not so much fun time.

Indeed, I spent so much effort preparing the daily needs for them that I overlooked this longing within their hearts!

Wonder what would be the answer from your kids? Give them a try with the same question.

12/8: 問問孩子 - Christmas Wish

On your way to church, ask your kids to name a few Christmas wishes that are not material. Wonder what their answers will be?

12/9: 問問孩子 - Thought Ping Pong

When your kids hop into your car, you will probably ask how their days go and if they don’t have much to say, try to invite them to play this “thought ping pong.” Take turn to share one thought that pop up in your mind throughout the day. They share one and you share one. Just like how you would play table tennis with a ping pong ball. Don’t turn the thought into long sharing and don’t comment on their thoughts. This will give you a window to get into their world as an attentive listener.

12/10: 問問孩子 - Thought Catcher

Take turn to share with your kids some negative thoughts that may have surfaced over the day. Pretend you each have an invisible catcher in your hands to capture those thoughts. After each is done sharing, exclaim the word "captured" together imagining the negative thoughts are being held captive in a bottle.

-- 2 Cor. 10:5b "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

This is an great article to read or listen that is related to this topic: https://activechristianity.org/how-do-i-take-every-thought-captive

12/11: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 1)

If your kids have played any toys that has the transforming feature turning from one thing into a different thing, invite them to walk down the memory lane to recall those toys and what they like about the transformation features.

12/12: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 2)

If you can transform into anyone or anything you like, who or what would you be like to become? If you remain as you, but are able to transform (change) a few things, which area(s) would you like to change?

{Don't just ask your kids, share your answers as well}

12/13: 問問孩子-Transformer Talks (part 3)

When a toy is transformed from one thing to another (say from car to robot), it needs you as the outsider to help it transformed. Suppose we can also transform our negative thoughts and bad habits for better, what do you think are the factors that can help us change?

** Note for parents: listen to your child to recount the sources in their lives that impact them. Help them list out as many factors as they can possibly think of. Don't just have them talk, you also share source of influences in your lives as well. Try to conclude the conversation by bringing up the point that WHAT WE PUT INTO OUR EYES AND EARS MATTERS FOR THEY CAN POSSIBLY CHANGE OUR MINDS FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. **

Consider using Romans 12:2 and stress on the word MIND. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. . . "

I am attaching a page excerpt from the book "True Spirituality" by Chip Ingram for your reference. It will help you prepare the chat with your kids.

Lunch Box Love Note

A few days ago, a sister showed me a web site with various cool lunch box designs. It caught my attention and brought back some parenting ideas that I have come across over the years: ideas such as how to bless our children each day with a simple prayer and a verse of God's Word; ideas such as leaving traces of encouragements in our children's lunch boxes.

I did some search and found resources with Bible verse cards and jokes for kids.  So, I am thinking about giving it a try. May be I can combine a joke of the day to bring a smile on my kids' face to brighten up their days. May be I can bless them with a verse or two from the Bible to nurture their hearts.

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." May this little act help them grow into a person full of God's joy from within and equip them to bring healing to the brokenness of the world wherever God leads them.