If I ask you to close your eyes and let your memories bring you back to your childhood stage, what comes to your mind? Could that be the playful moments with your friends and your favorite toys? Back in those days, toys were made up of something simple. I still remember how we used to bundle up the rubber bands and turned them into jumping ropes and it would occupy us the whole reccess with laughter and sometimes, fights.
Time flies and our kids nowadays seem to focus more on screens than actual toys. They are drawn more to social media than playgrounds as platforms to mingle with their friends. Often time, we as parents have a tug-a-war relationship with our kids when it comes to screen time. In order to guard their balanced routine, we set up screen time limits and monitor it closely, with the unavoidable worries wondering if they would have the self-discipline to not cross the boundaries when we are no longer around their physical premises. This mentality makes us feel helpless at time like fighting a losing battle.
Knowing that it’s impossible for us to shield our children completely from the world of digital media, is there a better alternative than limiting their screen time and installing content filter? I wanna introduce the book “Screenwise” by Deborah Heitner. It is a book about helping kids not just survive but thrive in their digital world. Our children grow up in this era as the digital natives receive and process information very differently from us. The following points brought up by the book are particularly helpful to me
1. From monitoring to mentoring:
We may have installed different tools to sensor the information that our kids get exposed to. But there are no full-prove measures. Being screenwise is not merely about protecting our kids from the harmful information, but more so about equipping them with the life skills to make sound judgment so they can “not only survive,” but thrive. Bear in mind that mentoring is lot more time consuming than monitoring. We need to learn their languages and spend time to strike to understand. Granted we may never be able to keep up their pace. But we can definitely offer what they lack of: decades of rich life experience and wisdom.
Screenwise is about mentorship . . . helping them make good decisions is a better and more effective strategy than trying to protect them from everything that is out there. But being an effective mentor in the digital age means that you need to engage with kids’ technology. You need to play what your kids play and lead them into screen engagements that emphasize creativity over consumption.
Lecturing them about technology won’t work. Exploring the digital world together will show them potential pitfalls—and, even more importantly, will create a two-way discussion. Your kids will feel like they are in it with you—that you are on their side.
2. Don’t assume the worst:
I particularly appreciate how the book approaches the subject with a positive spin. It offers ways that families can use technology to engage kids and bring positive impact on family time; and we can actually become a tech-positive parent to foster a tech-positive environment and enhance our children’s creativity; to get to know their thinking, and ultimate, foster discernment and help them formulate their own critical assessment. We as parents and mentors possess more influence than we recognize. The way we approach technology can set the tone and create the environment for our kids to thrive.
3. Engage and get into their world
Games, be it the digital games or the traditional board games offer opportunities for parents and children to interact. “To keep kids engaged and excited, consider designating a family game night once a week, alternating unplugged and 'plugged in' games each time.” When I told my boy that I would be playing “the digital games” with him, he is thrilled and feels loved as he senses my intention of reaching out to get a better glimpse and deeper appreciation of his world.
You can refer to http://www.raisingdigitalnatives.com for further insights. “Raising Digital Natives” is an organization set up by Deborah Heitner to provide resources for families and schools "to cultivate a culture of thoughtful digital citizenship.”